Elian, reunited with his father, at last! See
the joy, the real smile. How could anyone doubt that this boy belongs with
his father?
Plenty of written and spoken words have been devoted to the unfolding
drama of Elian, from a pro-the-relatives perspective or
pro-the-father. There has not been a day go by that has not seen mention
made in the world wide media of the tortuous path taken by the Attorney
General, Janet Reno in her attempts to bring a mediated settlement to the
kidnapping.
Two articles have, in my mind stood out from the rest, one by Salman Rushdie
and the other, a final commentary by Warren Farrell. In addition, the US
Attorney General made some thoughtful comments about fatherhood that are
well-worth preserving and cherishing.
Go to
* * * * * * *
When a boy is a political football,
he gets kicked. Take it from me, says Salman Rushdie, some want to use
six-year-old Elian as a toy, not a child
By Salman Rushdie
GLOBE AND MAIL Friday, April 7, 2000
When the world's imagination engages with a human tragedy as poignant as
that of Elian Gonzalez, the six-year-old refugee boy who survived a shipwreck
only to sink deep into the political mire of Cuban-American Miami, it
instinctively seeks to enter into the hearts and minds of each of the characters
in the drama.
Any parent can grasp something of what Elian's father, Juan Miguel Gonzalez,
has been going through back in Elian's hometown of Cardenas -- the pain of
losing his firstborn son, a child who arrived only after seven miscarriages;
next, the joy of learning that Elian had improbably survived, floating toward
Florida on a rubber ring; and then, the seismic shock of being told by a
gang of estranged relatives and total strangers that they were resolved to
stand between him and his child.
Perhaps we can understand Elian's inside-out state of mind a little, too.
After all, this is a boy who watched his mother slip into the dark ocean
and die. For a long time after that, his father wasn't by his side. So if
Elian now clutches at the hands of those who have been with him in Miami,
if he holds on to them for dear life the way he clung to that rubber ring,
who can blame him? If he has constructed a kind of provisional happiness
in his new Florida backyard, we should understand that as a psychological
survival mechanism, not as a permanent replacement for his father's love.
And if politicians play politics with a small boy's life, nobody likes it
much, but nobody's very surprised, either. U.S. Vice-President Al Gore weighs
in with a poorly thought-through scheme to turn Elian and his father into
U.S. residents (a scheme which Juan Miguel Gonzalez instantly rejects), and
we know that he's trying -- and almost certainly failing -- to win a few
Cuban Republican votes. The mayor of Miami-Dade County, Alex Penelas,
irresponsibly declares that his police force will not execute any order to
hand Elian back to his father, and we know that he's playing to his particular
gallery, too. Cuban President Fidel Castro comes up with a succession of
grandstand plays, turning Elian simultaneously into a symbol of national
pride and the folly of emigration to the United States, and this, too, comes
as no surprise.
Elian Gonzalez has become a political football and -- take the word of someone
who knows what that's like -- the first consequence of becoming a football
is that you cease to be thought of as a living, feeling human being. A football
is inanimate, and its purpose is to be kicked around. So you become what
Elian has become in the mouths of most of those arguing over him: useful,
but essentially a thing.
You become the proof of the addiction of the United States to litigation,
or of the pride and political muscle of a locally powerful immigrant community.
You become the location of a battle between mob rule and the rule of law,
between rabid anti-Communism and Third World anti-imperialism.
You are described and redescribed, sloganized and falsified, until, for the
howling combatants, you almost cease to exist.
You become a sort of myth, an empty vessel into which the world can pour
its prejudices, its poison and its hate.
All of the foregoing is more or less comprehensible. But what's going on
in the minds of Elian's Miami relatives -- that's a tough one. This poor
boy's flesh-and-blood family has elected to place its own hard-line ideological
considerations over his obvious and urgent need for his father, which looks,
to most of us on the outside, like an ugly, unnatural choice.
There is strong evidence that Juan Miguel Gonzalez is a loving father; so
when the Miami relatives' lawyers assault his good character, it sounds like
a cheap shot. And while there is also evidence that Juan Miguel is being
used by Castro for political ends, most of us would say, so what? Even if
Senor Gonzalez is a full-fledged Red of the sort most hated by the Florida
Cuban community, this does not override the rightness of returning his son
to his care, and to argue that it does is, well, inhuman. When the Miami
relatives hint that Elian will be "brainwashed" if he goes home, it only
makes us think that they are even more blinkered than the ideologues they
seek to condemn.
In a recent article Gabriel Garcia Marquez deplored "the harm being done
to Elian Gonzalez's mental health by the cultural uprooting to which he is
being subjected." This routinely anti-U.S. gibe is surely wide of the mark.
President Bill Clinton, Attorney General Janet Reno and the U.S. federal
courts have taken a sensible line throughout the protracted crisis, and American
public opinion has generally backed their view that Elian's place is with
his dad. This compares very favorably with, say, the actions of the
German authorities, who have in a number of notorious recent cases refused
to return children to non-German parents living abroad.
Plainly, the Elian story is not an American but a Cuban tragedy; and "cultural
uprooting" is at its heart, but not in the sense that Garcia Marquez meant.
It is the Miami Cuban community that has evidently been harmed by being uprooted
from its island in the sun. What began as a flight from bigotry has bred
dreadful bigotries of its own. What began as a flight from tyranny has ended,
or so it now seems, in a flight not only from reason, but from simple humanity,
too.
Salman Rushdie's latest novel is The Ground Beneath Her Feet. His column,
distributed by New York Times Special Features, appears monthly in The Globe
and Mail.
* * * * * * *
In the Mirror of
Elián
by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.*
The twenty-first century will begin with a father and child reunion: the
father of Elián González' reunion with his child, Elián.
Just as the last quarter of the twentieth century was marked by women's struggle
for equal opportunity in the workplace, more than the first quarter of the
twenty-first century will be marked by men's struggle for equal opportunity
in the homeplace. By millions of dads trying to be reunited with their
Eliáns.
Our response to the Elián González case tells us a little about
how far we have to go. The moment the news broke of the mother drowning and
the U.S. relatives taking over, the first responses reflected suspicion of
the dad:
"Maybe Elián should be with the relatives, maybe the mom was bringing
him to a better country, and helping him escape a dad who was perhaps abusive,
incompetent and did not love the child." That is, we placed the father under
suspicion until proven innocent.
So the INS (Immigration & Naturalization Service) did investigate the
dad, although he had already been investigated and awarded legal custody
in Cuba (only to have it undermined by a lack of enforcement).1 When all
indicators pointed to a loving dad, the prevailing view was still one of
the case being a struggle between a mother who wanted a better life for her
child in America and sacrificed her life to make that happen, and a dad who
wants his child back. When the mother died, the American relatives fought
to keep Elián as a way of fulfilling the mother's wishes, even honoring
her sacrifice.
But if we substitute dad for mom, let's look at whether our view would be
different. In real life, it was the mom and her boyfriend who took Elián.
Had it been dad and his girlfriend, would we be focusing on the dad sacrificing
his life to create a better one for the child, or, suddenly, would our binoculars
be focusing on the fact that it was a man and his girlfriend who unilaterally
took the child from a mother who had won legal custody? Would the media not
be portraying this man and his girlfriend as "running off"together?
Had the roles been reversed, and a man and his girlfriend had run off together,
snatching a child away from a mother who had custody, wouldn't we call this
kidnapping? Would the U.S. cousins and uncles who had never before seen
Elián be seen as potential substitute parents, or as co-conspirators
in the kidnapping? If the U.S. didn't enforce the INS 's ruling to return
the child, would the U.S. itself be seen as a co-conspirator? Would not a
father's co-conspiracy with relatives be seen as indications of his
manipulativeness, and his ability to persuade his girlfriend to join in at
the risk of her life reinforce the image of his manipulativeness, even his
Svengali-like nature?
Had the dad run off with --or kidnapped-- the child, would our focus have
been on the dad risking his life, or the dad risking the child's life? Would
the issue be the dad's sacrifice or child endangerment?
In real life, the dad was in the headlines for four and a half months, begging
for the return of his son. If a mom were in the headlines for four and a
half months, begging for the return of her son, would we know the mom's name?
I think so. Well, did you, the reader, learn the dad's name in the four and
a half months prior to his trip to Washington to pick up his son in April
of 2000? No? Nor did most Americans.
Had it been the mom who was left in Cuba crying for her son, the image of
her crying would be in our homes; her voice would create compassion in our
hearts, and thus her name would be on our tongues. When the name of someone
whose pleas surround us nevertheless remains invisible, it's a sign of a
deep bias, a bias that prevents the dad from being heard as a person even
when he does speak.2 It symbolizes an instinct that creates suspicion
of the dad where there would have been empathy for the mom. And in fact,
our first response was suspicion of the dad.
I suspect that had it been the dad and girlfriend who had kidnapped Elián,
our response to someone who said Elián might have a better life with
his American relatives would be, "That's beside the point: the law cannot
give permission for one parent to kidnap a child, overrule the law, ignore
the parent with custody, and flee to another country. That should be grounds
only for losing the right to the child. In any case, one parent cannot be
allowed to unilaterally determine what is right for the child--especially
when it involves depriving a six year old of the other parent. "
Had the mom and her boyfriend been seen as kidnappers, and the relatives
as co-conspirators, Elián would have been returned to his dad immediately,
not five months later -- after an argument could be made that the child should
not be disturbed from his stable Miami environment. Had it been a mom waiting,
feminists, Americans and Cubans would have been of one mind.
If a son was being deprived of his mom, pictures of never-before-seen relatives
parading the son around Disneyland would have been seen as child abuse, not
child amusement. The primary suspicion would not have been of the father,
but the relatives. Thus it would not have taken over two months to discover
that four of Elián's caretakers had recent histories of drunk driving,
grand theft, and/or forgery: Lazaro and brother Delfin each had two convictions
of driving under the influence, and both had their license revoked or suspended
in 1997 and previously, each for two or three years;
Jose Cid, another relative, stopped visiting when he started his 13 year
jail sentence for grand theft, forgery and violating probation. And his twin
brother, Luis, visits Elián even as he is on trial for
robbery.3 All of these relatives have one thing in common: they
support Elián being kept from his dad. Lazaro's brother, who wants
Elián's reunion with his dad, is barred from seeing Elián.
In brief, if a child were being deprived of mom, our empathetic minds would
have opened the path to an immediate "mother and child reunion"; instead,
when a child was being deprived of dad, suspicious minds investigated the
dad with custody before the relatives with prison sentences, inviting roadblocks
to a father and child reunion. In the mirror of Elián, we see ourselves.
* * * * * * *
*Warren Farrell, Ph.D. is currently completing Father and Child Reunion.
He is also the author of Why Men Are The Way They Are; Women Can't Hear What
Men Don't Say; and The Myth of Male Power. He resides in Encinitas (San Diego),
California, or, virtually, at www.warrenfarrell.com. His ear can be reached
at 760 753 5000.
1. Richard Serrano and Mike Clary, "Elián's Father Arrives, Says He
Feared for Son," The Los Angeles Times, April 7, 2000, p. A1 and A18.
2. The father's name is Juan Miguel González.
3. Peter T. Kilborn, "A Bumpy Path for Miami Kin of Cuban Boy," The New York
Times, February 9, 2000, pp. A1 and A13.
* * * * * * *
Quotable Quotes from Janet
Reno, the US Attorney General
From: "American Fathers Coalition"
http://www.abcnews.go.com/onair/nightline/transcripts/nl000407_trans.html
ABC NEWS Nightline Friday, April 7, 2000
(This is an unedited, uncorrected transcript.)
Prepared by Burrelles Information Services, which takes sole responsibility
for accuracy of transcription
Some wonderful quotes from
JANET RENO, UNITED STATES ATTORNEY GENERAL
...
...
...
TED KOPPEL
JANET RENO
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Subject: ABCNEWS: Nightline: Elian Town Meeting, April 7, 2000 (Transcript)
Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2000 10:28:29 -0400
"I do not agree in any shred of a way with the political beliefs of the
government of Cuba. But a father should not be punished for his political
beliefs, and I think that the law provides in this instance that the father,
who has a special bond with that child, should be reunited with him."
...
"The father has subsequently spoken and expressed himself, expressed his
wishes with respect to asylum. And what we have said is that under immigration
law, under federal law, the father has the right to speak for the child in
this instance. There is a special bond between father and son. Our whole
law, our moral foundation is based on the family. And I think it is important
that the father speak for the child in this instance and federal court has
sustained that decision."
"if we get into the business of courts determining that one person shall
have a child, but because of political beliefs, another will not be able
to raise his child, I think it sets a terrible precedent for the concept
of family as we know it."
"if he were a child in Florida, and he was an American citizen, and his
mother was killed in an automobile accident and his father was severely injured,
and Aunt Lucy took him to stay with her and when his father got out of the
hospital she said, I can afford to take better care of him than you,
though you be his father, and I can raise him right, far better than you
because I dont like your political beliefs, I think still the
father would be entitled to that son. And I dont think wed much
question it. I think we cannot punish people, parents, because of political
beliefs."
"Its an interesting question. If a child comes, as this gentleman
says, and charges molestation, the child clearly is heard. Some weight is
given to what the child says. In this particular instance, no weight is given
to what the child says."
"Because there is every indication that his father can speak for him,
and his father has the right to raise him, if there are factual issues with
respect to an allegation of a crime, then those are carefully explored and
in some instances, with corroborating evidence, a fact can be established.
But with respect to how the child should be raised and the circumstances
in which he should be raised where the parent is available and fit to do
it, then they should speak for the child. That is the way we believe that
the law is clear. And isit is at the foundation of our whole concept
of family in this country."