Look, I normally answer all my correspondence personally. You won’t believe this, but in light of the editorial I did on Channel Nine, which I repeated on Radio 2GB, I have been inundated with letters on this issue. All saying the same thing. You want a fairer system where Dads are included in their children’s lives.
Many of you have talked about the fact that when you do get access to your children, it is for three or four weeks at a time and yet you still have to pay child support to the mother even when you are providing for them. That also is a nonsense.
One of you said the comments were like the first rains after a long drought. Comments like that move me enormously. Another talked about it being “music to the ears of myself and countless other victim fathers.”
Others mentioned the blockage of reform by the Labor Party and the Democrats who would be the first people to try to pretend to you that they are on side.
Others of you mentioned Larry Anthony and I will be speaking to him. He is aware of my concern.
Another talked about trying to “stem the flood of male suicides” and a shiver went down my spine. That marriage and parenthood could do this to people is a scandal.
Another said, “I can quite understand how fathers walk away. Not because they are bad fathers, but just because the pain is too great.”
Another said to me “I’m a female and I agree that the laws need to be changed in all regards to family law. I feel that each case has to be decided individually as each case is different. I feel the reason we don’t hear about the mothers committing suicide is that quite often we don’t…..if you walk out on the marriage… you need to know you will lose a lot of your rights. It needs to be said you walk out, you lose”. That was from a lady. And, I have to say to you, I know of men, and I have interviewed them, who didn’t walk out on the marriage. The wife/mother did. But they get the children and the mother. I agree with that correspondent who said each case had to be individually addressed. We are trying to do that.
Others just simply thanked me on behalf of “all the Dads out there battling to see their kids regularly but being ripped off by the Child Support Agency”.
Another said, “With five divorces an hour in Australia and three DVOs/AVOs a day, is it any wonder there is so much suicide.”
Another said, “Thank you for using your forum to make this gross injustice known to the public. This injustice should be yelled from the rooftops until the lawmakers change the law”.
Another said “In that cohort of men subject to the Family Court and the Child Support Agency, more men commit suicide than the total number of deaths to drug overdose and road toll ..... however those figures aren’t published. The current policies are creating another stolen generation and this nation will pay dearly in the decades to come”.
Another said, “Your simple and succinct commentary on non-custodial fathers really hit home. I’m a non-custodial father and have had the very rude awakening of how unjust the system is towards divorced fathers”.
Another said, “The legislation has been “amended” over the years so the Child Support Agency has such wide discretion. They have become almost untouchable. Neither do they, nor the politicians, seem to care about the effect their decision making is having on the people forced to be part of the Agency’s horrendous system.”
Another said, “I’m a serving soldier in the Australian Army. I heard your comments this morning about non-custodial fathers. I was interested to hear that there are fathers out there in the same boat as me. I have been at my wit’s end many times due to my treatment by the Child Support Agency and can say that I did consider doing away with myself at least twice as a direct result of my situation”.
Another, “To your comments this morning about the CSA! Bringing this secretive agency into the spotlight is certainly long overdue and with high profile attention from respected persons such as yourself, you may help thousands of fathers in the same predicament.”
Another, “I don’t for one minute think we should not pay for our children. But I believe in fairness and equality and there is none in the division of hard earned assets. And then try living on two-thirds of your wage for what is usually the last 20 years of your working life…..the CSA treat you like a second class citizen from the word dot.”
Another said, “If they make an error in their assessment, they say they are unable to change the assessment under current legislation without you taking a Court order to stop the payments while the incorrect amount is in dispute”.
Another said, “Thank you for your comments this morning on the Today Show. It actually brought a tear to my eye to hear someone such as yourself speak out against the injustice Child Support pushes down the throats of Dads who both want to do the right thing by their children but have a fair go in rebuilding their own lives.”
Another, “Mate, thank you very much for airing this subject. As you know, the whole situation is appalling.”
Another, “In the first instance, a father paying the CSA has absolutely no power whatsoever to ensure that the payments are used for the purpose of providing for the child. In the second instance, I, for one, am often precluded from contact with the child by the actions of his mother. My ex-wife ended the marriage and admitted when she did so that the way the “system” was set up, there was an incentive for her to do so.”
Another, “I’m not surprised at the suicide rate….when I was unemployed some years ago, I was advised that the payments would continue to accrue and that I would have to catch up on the back payments. I can understand why some men give up the fight and let their lives go.”
Another, “I am a retired police officer who has fought a long lonely hand regarding the matters raised this morning. In my small suburb, in a one-week period, two non-custodial parents committed suicide in 1997/98.“
Another, “I have to fight to see my daughter and have found it difficult emotionally and financially to stick it out in the Courts and with the CSA, who don’t seem to listen to the father at all……I don’t seem to be the only one with issues with the system and it seems any criticism of the system is belittled and guilt or threats put on the father if he cannot pay.”
Another, “It’s not just non-custodial fathers who are getting ripped off. I’m a non-custodial mother – long story – my ex is working cash in hand, is on the pension and co-inhabiting with another person that is on a benefit payment. He hasn’t put in a tax return for two years. No matter how much I earn I can’t get ahead. Even if I get a tax return, they take that as well. The system stinks”.
Another, “Alan Jones is a bloody hero to all men and some women going through the trauma of separation and who have kids they love. Internet chat rooms and user groups are flooded with commentary after this morning’s program.”
Another, “Alan, you are absolutely right; the Family Law Court is totally biased against hard-working men”.
I want to assure you that the volume is massive. I have tried to cover some of the points that have been raised. Please forgive me if I haven’t alluded to your particular communication. I’m sending this out as a block email.
I am going to see Larry Anthony. I hope we can get somewhere. I will keep in touch. My thoughts are with you.
With best wishes,
Alan Jones
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